a new journey…

Well, good morning my dear blog, we haven’t talked in a while! ūüôā

I just wanted to let you know about a new project I’m working on. Over the next few weeks I will be writing 12 new songs that will then be compiled into a concept album. The concept? Well, you may or may not know that I ‘quit’ being catholic last year, and I’ve been thinking about the different aspects of religion, church, believes, trust, faith and spirituality quite a bit in the last few months. Now, in order to establish, define and digest all these thoughts, I’ve decided to turn it into music and to create my first concept album.

As a part of this journey I will use this blog as an inspirational listening / reading / thinking diary, to record and collect all the things and ideas that influence, guide and change the process. To start this of I will start with a song that has been in the back of my mind for quite some time now. Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, here in a live version, performed in London in 2009:

I’ve first played the song myself a few years ago, at the funeral of a close friend’s grandfather (with slightly changed/adapted lyrics to better fit the occasion). To me this song is an extremely emotional manifestation of the spirituality of physical love in a¬†genuinely affirmative eroticism: “remember when I moved in you, the holy dove was moving too, and every breath we drew was hallelujah.” but also of our desperate longing for completion / wholeness we sometimes wrongly try to reach that way: “I did my best, it wasn’t much. I couldn’t feel so I tried to touch”.

The lyrics are full of images, innuendos and stories from the bible (King David’s lust for Bathseba, the story of Samson and Delila – which¬†obviously makes me think of Regina Spektor’s “Samson” as well…), but the song doesn’t seem to be written from an overly religious perspective (“maybe there’s a God above”…).¬†Cohen has said of the song’s meaning: “It explains that many kinds of hallelujahs do exist, and all the perfect and broken hallelujahs have equal value.”

Now, this is obviously leading my thoughts towards the preceived devaluation of sexuality by the catholic church and wrongly imposed feelings of shame, peccability, and guilt….

here’s a lyrical snippet of a new song of mine…:

forgive me for I haven’t sinned
my lips are sealed
I’m growing wings
I give myself to the laughing winds 
to take me to the ground
your body smells like poisoned wine
I’m bleeding pain
I feel divine 
my lips are yours, your lips are mine
you take me to the ground

If you come up with any songs you think I should listen to, please let me know!


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